10.31.2008

Another Goodbye???

Fox has now canceled King of the Hill. Not even a series finale or anything. It's not like it's my favorite show, but it provides some good entertainment. I swear, I'm getting really sick of Fox and how it treats its shows. After 13 years on the air, this is what KotH and its viewers get? I guess I should be lucky Arrested Development got a proper send-off after being on air only 2-1/2 years.

Goodbye Sammy

I lost yet another fish this week - Sammy "The Knee."

I can't wait for this day to be over. I'm really feeling quite down and just want to be home.

10.30.2008

Another Week

After a staff meeting, one of my accounting staff came up to me and said "I like to think that a week from now you'll be on the path to getting your life back."

My mind has been so focused on other things this week - my dead (Tony) and sick (poor Sammy is probably not going to make it through the week) fish, quarter end closing stuff, prep for the exec committee meeting today, the horrible pain the crappy weather has been causing me, a new personal - and potential business - venture I'm starting to develop, and the opportunity Brad has to travel abroad through school and determining how to make it financially feasible...those have all been consuming my mind. It hadn't hit me that I'll be meeting my new surgeon a week from today.

There's a part of me that is beyond hopeful that what my co-worker said comes true. However, the realist in me knows the risks and the odds; the risks are great and the odds are against me. I think the thing I have to really come to terms with most is that what happens, happens. This surgery is really the last effort. What results from it is the way it will be, and I must find a way to cope with it no matter what the outcome.

10.29.2008

R.I.P. Tony

So after a long day at work and a nice meal out with Brad, I come home to find my goldfish Tony (a.k.a. Fat Tony) at the bottom of the tank, dead. I was completely shocked. Sammy, who we've had since Feb. 07, has not been doing too well lately, but Tony was the healthiest fish in the tank. We got him and his brother Andy on July 12, so this is actually the shortest amount of time any of our fish have lived. (I'm excluding Eddie because there was something wrong with him from the day we got him, so I blame the store for his 2-week span with us.)

I feel bad, because I never did get around to taking pictures of him. For a smaller fish, he had a strength and fight that made tank life interesting. He loved to fight with Sammy, who is more than twice his size, and often won the battles. He was sweet towards Andy, who was his tank mate from the store. He loved to eat, swam around like crazy, and hopefully had a decent life.

I'm really going to miss Fat Tony, and wish he could have stayed around a bit longer.

10.27.2008

Randall 10 - Thirteen Years Later

I think it's appropriate to acknowledge that exactly 13 years ago today, myself and about 70 others opened the Randall 10 in Batavia, Illinois. It was not only a turning point in my early career, but it also lead me to develop two great, long term friendships (Chrissy and Moe - you know who you are!) that I cherish immensely. I was only there five months before I was promoted and transferred, but it was still good times. I was usually overworked, stretched to my maximum mental and physical capacity, and dealing with certain people that made my life difficult for what I considered nothing but selfish reasons.

There were a lot of memorable moments from that first official day we were open to the public. Waking up, getting ready and going out to my car to find my tires deflated from nails, thanks to the lovely union projectionists who were picketing our theater for not using them. Getting to work a final shift with an old friend from Willow Knolls 14, who was there to assist in the opening on her last day with the company. Going out to Denny's in Aurora with many of the staff after finishing out the 9 o'clock set. A few of us then piling into cars, driving north of downtown Chicago in an attempt to find an all-night bowling alley; which we found, but a few people (not me!) were scared due to questionable atmosphere, so we instead went straight back to Aurora to spend the rest of the early morning hours.

For the original crew of the Randall 10, everyone should be proud of their accomplishments. While the first month was rough, the gang was able to overcome some challenging obstacles and turn the place into an entertainment destination and a part of the Batavia community. Since 1995 it's grown into a 16-plex, complete with an IMAX theater. While I've heard it's quite a bit run down, it still seems to pull in a crowd the few random times I've driven by.

Just one question now remains - has anyone discovered the time capsule?

10.22.2008

Freaky Wednesday

I come in today, open my e-mail, and find an email with the following:

Can you fly to Portland for an evening of no remembrance?

I wish I could say it was a typical junk mail, but it wasn't. It was from some guy (and obvious jackass) who owns an "asset recovery firm" that we (the company) engaged about two months ago. Our conversations were very limited, and mostly by e-mail, and the issue was quickly resolved in early September. So now I open my work e-mail, and as a reply to an e-mail I sent him on Sept 8 stating that the City of Cleveland did not owe us money and that the issue was cleared up...I get THIS reply.

I see the email was sent at 3:35am EDT. Was the guy high? Drunk? Did he accidentally mean to send this to another one of his contacts? Or is he just the biggest loser and freak out there? The answer is likely "all of the above."

So now I'm stuck with this nagging on my brain as to a response. I know sometimes it's best just to let things go, but I'm really tempted to write this guy back and tell him where he can go.

10.21.2008

Daily Thoughts and Observations

Between the construction noise and intense winds outside, it sounds like a sick cow giving birth. If I have to listen to this all day it is going to be a very unproductive day.

I haven't been feeling a strong pull to move back to Illinois lately, but this recent article makes me wonder if I should be giving the state another chance. After all, I think my past goldfish - Fish One, Fish Two, Norman, Eddie and Louie would be very responsible voters. My live fish would be, too.

In between the "sick cow" noise breaks I can actually hear the waves on Lake Erie. And if I turn around and look out my window, I can see the waves, too. If this keeps up I'm guessing there will be no sailboats out today.

Carrie Fisher turns 52 today. No real significance...just that we share the same first name, and a few of the engineers call me "Carrie Fisher". And sometimes "Carrie Underwood", but it's not as popular.

The winds still continue. I hope I'm not killed by shattered glass, because I've heard that has happened on many occasions in this building. Not the killings part, but the window glass breaking. Usually people are lucky enough where they are not in their office when it happens, but we're talking about me here. If my window breaks, I can assure you I will likely be right by it when it happens.

Happy October 21, everyone.

10.16.2008

Sluggish

This whole week has been a blur. A combination of long hours, not feeling well at all...yeah, I think those two are reason enough. One of my accounting team members is at the hospital awaiting the birth of her grandson, which means for the next week and a half I'll not only be doing my job, but hers as well since she plans on taking the time off. And of course on top of that I am working on quarter end numbers, so I'm on my own there as well.

On the health side, the pain has been immense all week; and even if I eliminate the pain, I'm still not feeling like myself. I would almost call it a drug reaction, but I don't know what that would be as I'm not taking anything new, nor have I gone off anything. I'm just not well. I would see a doctor...but that's out the window since I'm pretty much the entire accounting department right now. (Sorry, but my PT person is just that - a PT person)

I just want to put my head on my desk and sleep.

10.09.2008

Here Comes the Sun

I hit the road this morning around 5:50am, surrounded by complete darkness. From my office window you could only see a few office lights on in the surrounding buildings, and a huge black hole where Lake Erie is.

I went straight to work, unaware of the environment around me, when suddenly I see a bright reflection off my wall. That couldn't be the sun, right? Wait - it is!

I don't know what I am more surprised by. The fact it's 8am and time is already going quickly, or the fact that I actually see sun out my window...a first in many long, dreary days.

10.06.2008

Reality

I did manage to get an appointment with the surgeon in Baltimore scheduled for November 6. It will mean 13 hours on the road in one day, by myself, but I don't care.

As I usually do when I'm faced with a potential surgery, I initially tried to tell myself that I could put it off. Let's face it, surgery is no fun. With back surgery it has an affect on every part of your body, and the more surgeries you have the more difficult it appears to recover from them in a timely manner. And given my track record with two previous back surgeries that did nothing but make the situation worse, I suppose it is natural to fight against having a third surgery that could also prove pointless.

But after I went through the denial stage, I had a brief period of depression and then skipped right to acceptance. At least the acceptance regarding the reality of my situation; I need surgery sooner than later. It would be great if I could wait a year, but I can't. Realistically, I should try to have it in late November or early December. This period is the slowest time of the year for me work-wise, and would be the best time for me to squeeze this major surgery in.

I know I'm not done with my "denial, anger, bargaining and depression". After reading the recent reports regarding the disc I had put in 3-1/2 years ago and the similar problems it is causing others - including several lawsuits out there that I am wondering if I should try and join - I probably have every right to feel those things. Given the lack of support by the medical community and what I've had to suffer physically and mentally, the anger increases that much more. But in the end it doesn't change the end result - the disc must come out, and bone must go in.

Which, after saying that, put a Simpson's saying in my head. "Knife goes in, guts come out, that's what Osaka Seafood Fish Concern is all about."

10.02.2008

12:00pm

I'm feeling very blah today. Maybe it's the 12-hour work days I've been putting in, or the fact that my pain has increased another notch in a matter of weeks. Maybe it's the fact that I'm stuck waiting on surgeon #1 here in Ohio to see if he'll prescribe me the meds I want, or the fact that I'm stuck waiting for Baltimore surgeon's office to officially give me permission to schedule an appointment. I'm working as hard and as fast as I can, but I'm still not getting the stuff done that needs to. I'm overwhelmed with my workload, fed up with pain, tired of waiting, and I miss seeing my husband and having quality time to spend with him. I also miss my family and friends, and just having a life in general.

Or who knows - maybe it's the fact that overnight the weather turned cold, dreary and windy. I usually like Fall, but the weather changes are hard for my body to handle. It also could be the fact that I've basically been up since about 1:30am. Yeah, that's probably more like it. Probably.