7.29.2008

Things I owe people

First of all, I want to thank my great friends out there for your supportive comments and e-mails. When it comes to family and friends, I have the best out there. I am grateful for each and every one of you.

Second, I owe you pictures. I don't have any yet, but I will. Pictures of my office, lake view, and of course of the fish. The fish - Sammy, Andy and Tony - are quite a hoot these days. While initial they ignored each other, there is definitely some competition in that tank now. Sammy is becoming a big bully, but surprisingly Tony, who is about one-sixth the size, is holding his own. Tony may be small, but he's the fastest and boldest; he takes no guff from anyone. Then there is Andy...who is happy in his own little world, swimming around joyfully, satisfied with his daily ritual and staying out of the never-ending competition between the other two fish. Good times.

This week I have the final accounting reports to finish, a strategic planning session to prep for, and an all-important Homeowners Association meeting. My days in August are filling up fast with meetings and deadlines on a professional level, and because I'm crazy I decided to add one big personal "to-do" in August - planning my mom's 60th birthday party. I threw her a big one for her 50th, and because I took the lead in my dad's I have to take the lead on this one, too. My brilliant idea - at least I think it is - is that I am going to drive over to Iowa, pick up my Grandma G. and bring her back to stay in Ohio for a week or so around Labor Day weekend. My mom hasn't seen her mom since December, and misses her greatly. I think my mom will be completely shocked. I'm expecting a lot of tears, hopefully happy ones. It sounds like a simple surprise, but it's actually a lot to orchestrate. Not only am I spending 17 hours on the road (one way), but then it's timing everything for the big reveal. I'm also in charge of planning some fun events over the weekend, picking a restaurant and making and designing the cake. And since I refuse to make birthday cakes from a box mix, everything is from scratch. I'm trying out a new recipe ahead of time to see if it's better than the one I used for my dad, but it's definitely a lot of work. Lots of time on my feet...which will be unbelievably hard, but completely worth it for my mom. We don't always get along, as we're quite different in many aspects, but she would do anything for any of us and often has.

So that is my life these days. I promise, I'll post some good pics soon.

7.23.2008

S. S. Lives

Yesterday was moving day for the accounting department. While that is a story on its own, what I just saw made me stop in my tracks.

My arch rival, Speedy Smalls...is apparently alive and living in my new office. Or at least one of his relatives is. When I moved out of my office I thoroughly searched for him and found nothing. And now, peering out of the vent area in my new space, I saw him. This time he was in reach, but when I went to crush him he darted out of view and back into the vent system. Same size, same speed, and the exact same area he lived in on the other side of the office. Coincidence?

I had the drive to kill him before, but the longer he escapes me the more eager I am to see him dead. I hate killing anything, but S. S. is so devilishly cleaver that I fear he will continue to torment me if I don't take him out. I may need something more powerful than the human hand here. I'm thinking a spray. Yes, the $5 bucks spent and lingering smell would certainly be worth the end result.

7.21.2008

Construction

I'm writing today from the center of a construction zone. Everything in my office is covered with a fine, thickly layered dust. Outside my office door - oh, wait, they took the door out so it's really just an entryway now - I'm looking at the shell of what once was the accounting department. The used offices have been cleared, walls knocked down, ceiling tiles taken out and the flooring pulled.

This is what I walked into this morning, to my complete surprise. Last Friday was a "Friday-off", but when I last left these offices everything was as it has been for 10 years. It's quite a startling sight to see everything transformed in mere hours.

I walked to my new corner office on the opposite side of the building, and it's a completely different world. New carpet, new walls, everything empty, clean, vacuumed and ready for its new occupant, which happens to be me!

Unfortunately I'm stuck in the old, torn down area until they get the data connections in place on the new side. Yes, one would think that would have been one of the first things accomplished, but it was unintentionally forgotten. So now I'm stuck back here; lungs, eyes and throat burning, and feeling very dizzy and ill from all of the allergy and headache medicine I'm taking beyond the current medications I'm on for my pain issues. Last week it was bothering me just having all of this down the hallway, but to be surrounded by it is a bit much. To top it off, this is the second quarter close period, which means long work hours.

I'm going to try and not complain though, because I'm sure our move is just around the corner. Then the hell really begins.

7.12.2008

Reflection

This year I've found myself withdrawn and ignoring my blog. I'm still writing, just not posting. It's been a difficult year, going from doctor to doctor, having test after test, trying to figure out why I'm in so much pain and why it continues to increase in intensity. I have found myself frustrated, angry, depressed, overwhelmed and beaten down. I hit rock bottom a few weeks ago when I was told point blank by a neurologist that I was a "sweet girl", but that my fate was sealed when I got the artificial disc...there was no hope for improvement or change, and would likely continue to get worse and further erode my chances of a "normal" existence.

When you hit the bottom you have three choices - take yourself out, stay at the bottom or crawl your way back up. It took me a few weeks, but I've picked myself up off the ground. Mentally I've been "rebuilding" and getting myself back into fighting form. It's tough, physically my body is not cooperating, but I'm getting there. I've exhausted almost all options with the Cleveland Clinic, which is a frustrating system to try to navigate through when you're a single patient trying to find answers to something not easily diagnosed. I'm exploring a few new avenues, and have reopened communication with my original spine surgeon. He works with my father, and appears willing to help me in getting information from the artificial disc manufacturer and also the surgeons who have had the most experience in this area. A chief medical officer who works with my dad has also offered to help by showing my records, tests, history, etc. to a few of his physician colleagues for input and suggestions.

The road still has no end in sight, but I'm not giving up. I've come too far to give up, and quite frankly it would be very selfish of me to stop. I have a wonderful husband, family and friends that make me want to keep fighting another day. Despite the setbacks I've had these last three years, I've still managed to have a life. It's not what I envisioned for myself at age 32, but there are still a lot of things to be grateful for, and that includes the few of you out there that are reading this blog.

If there are new developments on the health front I'll post it, but otherwise this is the last health-related blog for awhile. I have enough other good stuff going on to blog about. But for now I'm calling it a night.

Introducing...

Tonight we added two new redcap goldfish to the tank. After Louie's death last week, I promised Sammy that if he made it through the week, I'd get him a new tank-mate. He was pretty down the first couple of days, but was back to normal by Friday. It was time to keep my end of the bargain.

We've always had two fish, and then when one dies the other is left alone. I've entertained the idea of having three fish so when one passes, the other two still have each other. I was planning on getting just one, came up with a name, and just needed to find the perfect fish to fit.

Then this morning B notified me that Tony Snow had died. I was a bit bummed...first Russert, now Snow. I didn't always agree with Tony, but he didn't let people sweet talk their way out of a question, and had the perfect tv/radio voice and radiated calmness.

So we went to the store tonight and choose two fish. I want to officially welcome Andy and Tony to the family. Tony is slightly larger and exceptionally calm and likes to explore. Andy is just crazy, wacky and all over the place. He's also scares easily. Andy is named after the character from "The Office"; he's not my favorite character, but he is my favorite character added to a hit show during the mid-course of it's run.

I don't want to freak out the newbies with the bright camera flash yet; maybe tomorrow I'll try to get some pictures for a proper introduction.

7.06.2008

The Amazing Silverstone

I've been losing my love for Formula 1 over the last couple of years, but gained a little of it back after an great Silverstone Race today. Though I've only watched the live timing/commentary on the web (it won't be played here in the U.S. until 1pm today), it was awesome. Hamilton blew everyone away, and the best part...Barrichello placed third!!! Rubens always does amazing at Silverstone, which is a reason I chose him for the Formula 1 pool we have going (and the one I'm currently losing). I haven't watched a race from start to finish in awhile, but I'm definitely watching today.

I would love to say that maybe the Formula 1 powers that be will re-think their decision to get rid of Silverstone after 2010, but I doubt it. It appears their goal is to get rid of every decent track/race from the schedule. First Indy...now Silverstone. No wonder I've started watching NASCAR (and J.P. Montoya) more and more. Less politics, more racing, and more consideration given to fans.

7.05.2008

Remembering Louie

Louie, a.k.a. "Big Lou"
September 1, 2006 to July 5, 2008

This morning our oldest fish, Louie, passed away. He had struggled with dropsy over the past couple of weeks, likely due to cancer.

We "adopted" Louie on September 1, 2006, which was also my mother's birthday. At the time we had another redcap goldfish, Fish One, who was our first fish and also 3-1/2 years old at the time. Fish One's tank mate (Norman) had passed that June, and seemed to be missing the company another fish provided. So we got Louie. He was always recognizable in the tank due to his unusual orange markings on his belly.

Even though Fish One was often a bully to other fish, he seemed to get along with Louie ok. Louie's laid back attitude made life in the tank very tranquil. When Fish One passed of old age two months later, Louie always seemed to remember his place. He was never one to enjoy the spotlight. When we got him a brother, Sammy "The Knee" in February 2007, Louie showed him the ropes and was always willing to let Sammy get the attention. When Sammy grew bigger and started throwing more of his weight around the tank, Louie let him have his way without any fuss. They were family, and Louie and Sammy grew close. During Louie's last weeks, Sammy would often sit at the bottom of the tank with Louie, fin to fin, in loving support.

Louie would never have the distinction of being our first fish or most loved fish, but his kindness and willingness to quietly fight in his final weeks will always be remembered. He was typically more of a loner, but truly had a good soul. He brought much happiness and entertainment to our lives. Louie, you will be missed. May your fish tank in the sky be filled with food, lots of plants, and plenty of rocks for you to suck up.

7.04.2008

4th of July

On July 4, 1776, the people in the colonies of the future United States claimed their independence from Britain and Democracy was born. That was 232 years ago, and though this country definitely has a lot of serious problems, I still believe it's the best one in the world.

Though I've usually been more of a Lincoln buff, these past several months I've been more focused on history of the Revolution and the formation of our government. I must thank HBO's brilliant "John Adams" for re-introducing me to characters that I loved reading about as a child. Those were times when men, women and children sacrificed everything they had to be free of oppression and to have a voice. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness - this is what they sought.

Today is truly a celebration, and I hope everyone has a great time in whatever manner they see fit to acknowledge the occasion.