Fox has now canceled King of the Hill. Not even a series finale or anything. It's not like it's my favorite show, but it provides some good entertainment. I swear, I'm getting really sick of Fox and how it treats its shows. After 13 years on the air, this is what KotH and its viewers get? I guess I should be lucky Arrested Development got a proper send-off after being on air only 2-1/2 years.
I lost yet another fish this week - Sammy "The Knee."
I can't wait for this day to be over. I'm really feeling quite down and just want to be home.
After a staff meeting, one of my accounting staff came up to me and said "I like to think that a week from now you'll be on the path to getting your life back."
My mind has been so focused on other things this week - my dead (Tony) and sick (poor Sammy is probably not going to make it through the week) fish, quarter end closing stuff, prep for the exec committee meeting today, the horrible pain the crappy weather has been causing me, a new personal - and potential business - venture I'm starting to develop, and the opportunity Brad has to travel abroad through school and determining how to make it financially feasible...those have all been consuming my mind. It hadn't hit me that I'll be meeting my new surgeon a week from today.
There's a part of me that is beyond hopeful that what my co-worker said comes true. However, the realist in me knows the risks and the odds; the risks are great and the odds are against me. I think the thing I have to really come to terms with most is that what happens, happens. This surgery is really the last effort. What results from it is the way it will be, and I must find a way to cope with it no matter what the outcome.
So after a long day at work and a nice meal out with Brad, I come home to find my goldfish Tony (a.k.a. Fat Tony) at the bottom of the tank, dead. I was completely shocked. Sammy, who we've had since Feb. 07, has not been doing too well lately, but Tony was the healthiest fish in the tank. We got him and his brother Andy on July 12, so this is actually the shortest amount of time any of our fish have lived. (I'm excluding Eddie because there was something wrong with him from the day we got him, so I blame the store for his 2-week span with us.)
I feel bad, because I never did get around to taking pictures of him. For a smaller fish, he had a strength and fight that made tank life interesting. He loved to fight with Sammy, who is more than twice his size, and often won the battles. He was sweet towards Andy, who was his tank mate from the store. He loved to eat, swam around like crazy, and hopefully had a decent life.
I'm really going to miss Fat Tony, and wish he could have stayed around a bit longer.
I think it's appropriate to acknowledge that exactly 13 years ago today, myself and about 70 others opened the Randall 10 in Batavia, Illinois. It was not only a turning point in my early career, but it also lead me to develop two great, long term friendships (Chrissy and Moe - you know who you are!) that I cherish immensely. I was only there five months before I was promoted and transferred, but it was still good times. I was usually overworked, stretched to my maximum mental and physical capacity, and dealing with certain people that made my life difficult for what I considered nothing but selfish reasons.
There were a lot of memorable moments from that first official day we were open to the public. Waking up, getting ready and going out to my car to find my tires deflated from nails, thanks to the lovely union projectionists who were picketing our theater for not using them. Getting to work a final shift with an old friend from Willow Knolls 14, who was there to assist in the opening on her last day with the company. Going out to Denny's in Aurora with many of the staff after finishing out the 9 o'clock set. A few of us then piling into cars, driving north of downtown Chicago in an attempt to find an all-night bowling alley; which we found, but a few people (not me!) were scared due to questionable atmosphere, so we instead went straight back to Aurora to spend the rest of the early morning hours.
For the original crew of the Randall 10, everyone should be proud of their accomplishments. While the first month was rough, the gang was able to overcome some challenging obstacles and turn the place into an entertainment destination and a part of the Batavia community. Since 1995 it's grown into a 16-plex, complete with an IMAX theater. While I've heard it's quite a bit run down, it still seems to pull in a crowd the few random times I've driven by.
Just one question now remains - has anyone discovered the time capsule?
I come in today, open my e-mail, and find an email with the following:
Can you fly to
I see the email was sent at 3:35am EDT. Was the guy high? Drunk? Did he accidentally mean to send this to another one of his contacts? Or is he just the biggest loser and freak out there? The answer is likely "all of the above."
So now I'm stuck with this nagging on my brain as to a response. I know sometimes it's best just to let things go, but I'm really tempted to write this guy back and tell him where he can go.
Between the construction noise and intense winds outside, it sounds like a sick cow giving birth. If I have to listen to this all day it is going to be a very unproductive day.
I haven't been feeling a strong pull to move back to Illinois lately, but this recent article makes me wonder if I should be giving the state another chance. After all, I think my past goldfish - Fish One, Fish Two, Norman, Eddie and Louie would be very responsible voters. My live fish would be, too.
In between the "sick cow" noise breaks I can actually hear the waves on Lake Erie. And if I turn around and look out my window, I can see the waves, too. If this keeps up I'm guessing there will be no sailboats out today.
Carrie Fisher turns 52 today. No real significance...just that we share the same first name, and a few of the engineers call me "Carrie Fisher". And sometimes "Carrie Underwood", but it's not as popular.
The winds still continue. I hope I'm not killed by shattered glass, because I've heard that has happened on many occasions in this building. Not the killings part, but the window glass breaking. Usually people are lucky enough where they are not in their office when it happens, but we're talking about me here. If my window breaks, I can assure you I will likely be right by it when it happens.
Happy October 21, everyone.
This whole week has been a blur. A combination of long hours, not feeling well at all...yeah, I think those two are reason enough. One of my accounting team members is at the hospital awaiting the birth of her grandson, which means for the next week and a half I'll not only be doing my job, but hers as well since she plans on taking the time off. And of course on top of that I am working on quarter end numbers, so I'm on my own there as well.
On the health side, the pain has been immense all week; and even if I eliminate the pain, I'm still not feeling like myself. I would almost call it a drug reaction, but I don't know what that would be as I'm not taking anything new, nor have I gone off anything. I'm just not well. I would see a doctor...but that's out the window since I'm pretty much the entire accounting department right now. (Sorry, but my PT person is just that - a PT person)
I just want to put my head on my desk and sleep.
I hit the road this morning around 5:50am, surrounded by complete darkness. From my office window you could only see a few office lights on in the surrounding buildings, and a huge black hole where Lake Erie is.
I went straight to work, unaware of the environment around me, when suddenly I see a bright reflection off my wall. That couldn't be the sun, right? Wait - it is!
I don't know what I am more surprised by. The fact it's 8am and time is already going quickly, or the fact that I actually see sun out my window...a first in many long, dreary days.
I did manage to get an appointment with the surgeon in Baltimore scheduled for November 6. It will mean 13 hours on the road in one day, by myself, but I don't care.
As I usually do when I'm faced with a potential surgery, I initially tried to tell myself that I could put it off. Let's face it, surgery is no fun. With back surgery it has an affect on every part of your body, and the more surgeries you have the more difficult it appears to recover from them in a timely manner. And given my track record with two previous back surgeries that did nothing but make the situation worse, I suppose it is natural to fight against having a third surgery that could also prove pointless.
But after I went through the denial stage, I had a brief period of depression and then skipped right to acceptance. At least the acceptance regarding the reality of my situation; I need surgery sooner than later. It would be great if I could wait a year, but I can't. Realistically, I should try to have it in late November or early December. This period is the slowest time of the year for me work-wise, and would be the best time for me to squeeze this major surgery in.
I know I'm not done with my "denial, anger, bargaining and depression". After reading the recent reports regarding the disc I had put in 3-1/2 years ago and the similar problems it is causing others - including several lawsuits out there that I am wondering if I should try and join - I probably have every right to feel those things. Given the lack of support by the medical community and what I've had to suffer physically and mentally, the anger increases that much more. But in the end it doesn't change the end result - the disc must come out, and bone must go in.
Which, after saying that, put a Simpson's saying in my head. "Knife goes in, guts come out, that's what Osaka Seafood Fish Concern is all about."
I'm feeling very blah today. Maybe it's the 12-hour work days I've been putting in, or the fact that my pain has increased another notch in a matter of weeks. Maybe it's the fact that I'm stuck waiting on surgeon #1 here in Ohio to see if he'll prescribe me the meds I want, or the fact that I'm stuck waiting for Baltimore surgeon's office to officially give me permission to schedule an appointment. I'm working as hard and as fast as I can, but I'm still not getting the stuff done that needs to. I'm overwhelmed with my workload, fed up with pain, tired of waiting, and I miss seeing my husband and having quality time to spend with him. I also miss my family and friends, and just having a life in general.
Or who knows - maybe it's the fact that overnight the weather turned cold, dreary and windy. I usually like Fall, but the weather changes are hard for my body to handle. It also could be the fact that I've basically been up since about 1:30am. Yeah, that's probably more like it. Probably.
Some 1,400 chief information officers from companies across the United States to come up with the most baffling questions their help desks or technical support teams had ever received. (AFP/Illustration)
Why do I find this funny? Well, if you go back to a blog I wrote in July 2007, you'll see why.
I believe I have come to the conclusion that in this election I will vote for only non-incumbents at all levels of government, and will encourage everyone else to do the same. We need to start with a clean slate.
And in terms of the President, vote for whoever you want. If there was a third party candidate that I could tolerate I would vote for them...but there is no such thing.
It seems like there is always a time where the pain I'm in steps up a notch. No reason, activity or logic to it, it just happens.
Unfortunately I think it just climbed up yet another notch.
I thought that maybe I was just going through an "inflammatory" phase these last couple of weeks due to the change in weather, but have come to the conclusion that it's not a short-term thing. Unfortunately it's here to stay.
With each "notch" it eats away more at my mental strength, and this most recent increase is no exception. It's a harsh reality, but if the doctors continue to sit around and do nothing I would be shocked if I'm still able to work in a year. And for me, the person whose life once revolved around work and career, it's a tough thing to swallow.
I hope one day I can look back at all of this and know that there was a purpose behind all of the suffering. I feel that after all I've been through that I should be able to do "something" with it. Granted, things are not over yet, but...why was I meant to go through all of this if there was not a greater purpose?
While the Texans got to see Ike at full blast, we Ohioans were in for a shock yesterday afternoon when 65-80 mph winds started blowing. Ike was here, but we didn't know it then. Brad and I were both upstairs, in separate rooms, when I heard the large, long crackle of wood breaking, and then a large bang that shook the house. I sat in our office in silence, with the words "Did a tree just fall?" going through my mind. Within seconds Brad's voice boomed down the hall, "We lost a tree. Didn't hit a house, but we're blocked in."
A 40-50 ft tree in a tree lawn on the south side of the property had a big, old tree come tumbling down in the wind. It looks like it was decaying from the inside, and the winds snapped it at the base. We were lucky no one was hurt, and that there was no property damage. Yes, we were blocked in since the tree was over our only road out of the development, and there was some landscaping damage, but after hearing other people's stories we were immensely lucky.
After calling a few tree removal companies and getting turned down due to the volume they had already accumulated, we finally found a guy close by to do the job, and for $900. Not bad, considering the high demand. We now have a path clear in our road to drive through, and within the next few days the company will clean up the rest.
My parents, 10 minutes down the road, also got hit hard. Wires down, trees down...complete mess. Neither of us had power, along with over 300,000 residents in the Cleveland/Akron area. What we always find amusing is that typically when we lose power, the houses on the other side of our southern tree lawn typically have it. So we went to a neighbors, had some screwdrivers (and yes, I mean vodka & orange juice) in the driveway, watching the winds and envying the people in the houses that were in their comfortable homes, with their electricity, air conditioning and television. Considering the circumstances, it was not a bad night.
The one thing most people around here agree on is the lack of a warning before the winds came. We certainly knew nothing about it, and we had been watching the Bears/Panthers game on a Cleveland network. I'm not sure what the weather people were up to, but I think they were slacking just a bit. Probably out at the Browns Stadium tailgating and drinking until they felt no pain (in anticipation of their major loss to the Steelers).
What was to happen Sunday evening was our association board meeting, which was going to probably be one big stressful shouting match. Instead, we gathered together as a community (for the most part - a few people decided to play their typical games) and made the best of a bad situation. You can actually say that the tree brought us together, at least for an evening. I'm sure in a week everyone will be back to their political games. But for now I'm going to enjoy the peace while it lasts.
I certainly hope people can stop talking/commenting about who called who a pig in lipstick, get over themselves, grow up, and refocus on what is really important in life.
It's a sad statement that the 25th anniversary of the VMA's received more press than the 7 year anniversary of 9/11. Pathetic. As a country, where did we go wrong? Where did we lose our way here? Is it too late to change course, or like the mighty Roman empire are we destined to fail?
About a month ago I had blood drawn, which was then sent to Rush in Chicago for testing. The purpose was to see if I had a high level of various metals in my bloodstream, which could be a sign that my body was allergic to, or rejecting, the artificial disc I had put in place back in May 2005. My dad initiated the conversation with my original surgeon at my desperate request (they work together), so the testing was done. I had not heard anything, so I asked my dad to check with the surgeon to see when the results would be available. As it turns out, the surgeon had received them this week.
The results show that there is an "elevated level of nickel reactivity". The surgeon was quick to point out that nickel is not a component of the disc. However, after a few minutes of web research, I was able to confirm that one of the main components, cobalt, is a byproduct of nickel. Basically the two go hand-in-hand. Also several of the other metals used for the disc often contain some nickel in their makeup.
I don't know what all of this will lead to, but it's something. Out of all of the test results I've had, only two things have come back positive - the level of nickel in my bloodstream, and my anti-nuclear antibody level. Both items are signs of an allergic reaction based on what I've read.
I'm trying not to get ahead of myself, but it's tough not to feel consumed with emotion right now. It's good news - great news, actually - but there is also a part of me that is furious for the hell I've gone through and the complete lack of support from the medical community. I've asked every doctor I've seen these past 3 years (over 11 of them) if I could be allergic to the implant, and I was blown off. In fact, most of the docs gave a laugh and told me "If you can wear a watch, you don't have a metal allergy." Right...because wearing a watch on my wrist is completely the same as having a large metal implant inside your body reacting with various tissues and such. Because my watch is made out of the exact metals - and plastics - as an implant. Completely the same.
Idiots.
If I actually get a diagnosis for whatever it is I have and it's related to the disc, I will certainly make it my mission to share my story as much as I can so others who may be suffering from the same thing can get treated. In the meantime these results have given me a much needed boost of fighting power. It gives me something to work with, which is all I've been wanting for a few years now. Something to let me know that I'm not crazy, that it's not all in my imagination and that what I'm suffering from is real. It may not have been real to the medical community up until this point because it's not one of the main "top 50" diseases they are aware of, but it's definitely real to me. And I think this most recent test reinforces the fact that there is something there.
After months of planning and several weeks of work, my mom's 60th birthday weekend went well. Only one small hiccup - I had to tell my mom over the phone on Friday that Grandma was in the car, and I was driving her to Ohio as a surprise.
What can I say. Mom started panicking when she called Grandma three times on Friday morning and got no answer, so she assumed the worst; that she was injured, dead, or possibly kidnapped. Ok, I made up the kidnapping part.
So I received the dreaded call from Mom at 2pm, just as I crossed into Indiana. She started out asking me where I was, how was traffic, and whether I had a headache. Considering she did not know where I was, I had to make up stuff. I could tell something was bothering her, so I asked her straight out and then I got the panic about Grandma. She was about to call Grandma again for a fourth time...so there was nothing I could do. I admitted I had her mom in the car, and after stating three or four times that I wasn't joking, I finally handed the phone to Grandma so she could prove that what I was saying was true.
I was pretty devastated for about two minutes. All the effort, all the stress with keeping it a secret, and the fact there would be no joyful moment with the whole family once Grandma arrived...it was a severe kick to the stomach. But then I realized that I had accomplished the mission - giving my mom time with her mom, and making it a surprise - so all was good. I got over myself and the situation.
Thursday through Monday was a hectic, time-consuming, exhausting, physically painful blur. Actually, that really describes the last few weeks. But in the end, I think everyone had a lot of fun, and I managed to get everything done that I had planned. I got about 4 hours of sleep a night at most, but I made it through.
I have some good pictures and good stories, but that will probably have to wait another week or two. Technically, the birthday gift/work is not officially over. I still have Grandma to take back to Iowa this weekend, and then next weekend I have several things to take back to various stores that I did not end up using for the cake. Since I have a few days of "down time" (excluding my work-related hours of 5am to 6:30pm this week), the goal is to try and get as much sleep as possible these next few days. To say I'm exhausted from the past few weeks is an understatement.
Great news today from the State of Ohio - the Ohio Healthy Families Act has been pulled from the ballot this November. It appears the group who started this is going to focus their efforts on a similar Federal bill.
It is wonderful news, as now I don't have to spend weeks of my work life coming up with a new sick/vacation/holiday policy and tracking system. I can now spend my "down time" in between end-of-quarter work to do things that I want to do, such as create an all-encompassing database to track employee information, benefits, and EEO information.
And in the end, the best part about this news is that we can keep the generous package we currently have for our employees.
St. Paul - especially downtown St. Paul - was where I called home for three years, and where I worked for five years. As I was plugging away on my computer tonight, I saw on the news more video of protesters vandalizing storefronts and taking over the streets. I just couldn't take it anymore.
I know where these people are, and what they are destroying in their path. Where the dumpster fire broke out Monday and the first confrontation between police and protesters occurred, I (and Brad at one point) worked next door. I see the familiar sights of stores, banks, restaurants and streets that were my home, being torn to shreds. I worry for my former co-workers who are still downtown (though luckily they moved a few years ago to a place a little further from the convention center), and for everyone who calls St. Paul home. We obviously left Minnesota for a reason, but we did enjoy our time in St. Paul. It was a clean, safe city, with beautiful sights and culture, and friendly people. To see what these protesters are doing is horribly wrong, immoral, and disgusting. The people and businesses of St. Paul do not deserve this.
I'm all for peaceful protests, but these people completely infuriate me and disgust me right now. These people, who obviously have high opinions of themselves and what they are allowed to do to others without any explanation or care, deserve to be taken down off their little pedestals and put through hell. Kudos to the Twin Cities cops who have had to put up with their childish, pathetic behavior, and a "hang in there" to those St. Paul folks who will hopefully be able to reclaim their city once this mess is over. May the protesters rightfully get what is coming to them. Pathetic...disgusting and pathetic.
