Cleveland in the News

1. The sink hole in the middle of downtown has still not been repaired. Which means I get at least another week of horrendous traffic trying to get out of the city while the typical/most used main route remains unusable.

2. This week it was announced that three candidates running for Cleveland city council positions have criminal records. One is a murderer. One pleaded guilty to attempted forgery and stealing from a federal agency. The third was busted on a drug charge. No wonder the city is such a mess!

Moving On

Ok, so Thursday evening I wrote a long blog, getting my frustrations out of my system. It was more of a venting exercise, and it did help. I'm not going to post it; I'm moving on.

The doctor appointment Thursday led to another dead end. I do not have a connective tissue disease, though I was told it is a possibility I will have it at some point. Luckily with those type of diseases it's pretty obvious, so if it does kick in at least it should be easy to diagnose for a change.

Almost everything has been ruled out at this point. The rheumatologist and my PCP think I have fibromyalgia, which is really a made-up "catch all" disease for people doctors can't diagnose. I've actually had the "treatment" already - a nerve medication and anti-inflammatory medication, and it did nothing except make my brain complete mush. The last opportunity, at least on this particular path, is the neurologist on April 30. So until then I'm moving on...just continuing to work, live life, and try not to get too frustrated or depressed with the situation.

Yesterday was my Friday-off, and B had it off too. I was still upset about the whole doctor thing and wanted to get away. Supporting my need to just get away and clear my head, we hopped in the car and went to Wheeling, WV to a casino there. We maybe go to a casino once every 2-3 years, and we always go with a limited budget. We also always never come away ahead, and yesterday was no exception. However, we had a blast. Sure, we smelled like cigarette smoke all the way home, but it was really enjoyable and the getaway I needed. I'm lucky to have such a great husband who is willing to do those types of things on a whim.

On another note, the Formula 1 season has officially begun. I'm thinking that Hamilton or a BMW driver will win the first race in Australia. And though he has no chance at all of winning or being in the top three, go Barrichello!

Is it the end of the work week yet?

Even though I only work four days this week (I get every other Friday off), I feel like it should be Saturday by now. I'm not sure why my perception is so messed up. I blame the stupid time change.

To make my work week slightly shorter, I am actually leaving at 3:30pm today for my rheumatologist appointment. A part of me is anxious and horribly nervous, but the other half is calm and quite certain nothing of interest will happen today. My logical side says that the only thing that will happen is she will interpret my blood tests, go through my history and then probably run more blood work. Very little chance of any answers today.

Today I did, for the first time, have a Slyman's corned beef sandwich. Someone in the office, for St. Patrick's Day (pre-celebration), offered to pick up lunch from there today. Since we moved here B and I hear about how great and wonderful they are. Well, the sandwiches look just like the main picture on their web site, and while they are good, it's not the best sandwich I've had. It is huge though, so I ate about 1/4 of it (using a fork and knife) and will take the rest home to B so he can try it out. I know it's a lot of food, but I feel a little disappointed I spent $9 on it. Let's see, for $9 I could have bought:

• 8 i-Tunes songs
  
• A meal for two at Don Tequila's (a great local mexican place)
• A yummy slice of cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory (I only eat there once a year at most)
  
• One of my current prescriptions (though I'll still do that anyway)
• 9 lottery tickets (though I don't play)
• 2 gallons of gas for my Corolla, which would last me maybe two days to/from work
  

Alas, I should get back to work. Lunch/play time is over, now it's time to get things done. I'll be back later today.

Sunday Afternoon

This was a weird week. Clinton won Ohio in the primary, keeping her hopes alive (unfortunately). We had a horrible ice storm, followed by a blizzard a couple of days later. My average trip time into/from work this week was about 90 minutes; usually around the 2 hour mark. And to top it off, a water main broke in downtown Cleveland a few blocks from where I work, causing not only a watery mess but a huge sink hole in the middle of a key main street that is a main route for most people who work in the city.

It's no wonder with all this excitement that it seemed like a long week, despite the fact we were in D.C. for the first two days of it. Hopefully this week will be a bit more calm. Not much is planned; Brad doesn't have class this week due to Spring break, plus he gets Friday off - and I do as well. I have my rheumatologist appointment late Thursday afternoon. Have an acupuncture appointment on Friday, but I'm thinking I'll cancel. I don't see a lot of benefit for the $110 I shell out, plus with everything else going on health-wise I'd like to hold off for a bit.

May everyone have a calm and uneventful week. And let's hope that Spring is just around the corner, because I'm ready for winter to be over!

D.C. Recap

Since we're trapped in the house due to the blizzard, I came to the conclusion it was a good time to update my blog regarding the D.C. trip. After all, the snow is crawling up the ground windows now and there's no way we could get our low-to-the-ground Corolla's out of the driveway and down our short street. They've also shut down almost all businesses and even nearby Summit County has a driving ban for all non-emergency vehicles. Yes, we are truly trapped here.

The Trip
The road trip there and back wasn't too bad. For Christmas my parents had given me a new audio book called "Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln's Killer", a seven-CD set that really helped the time go by. It was a fascinating account of the events leading up to the events on April 14, 1865, the events themselves (not just Lincoln, but the Seward assassination attempt), and the 12-day manhunt for John Wilkes Booth. It seemed fitting material for our D.C. trip, and anything that helps the trip through Pennsylvania seem "fun" must be good. Though we had a heavy snow in Ohio and Pennsylvania, by the time we hit Maryland the ground was brown yet dry, and the temps were 20 degrees higher. Though the weather forecast had originally called for rain all weekend, we only ran into a light drizzle our first evening there. At times the winds were cold and piercing, but it was still warmer than Ohio. On our last two days there the temps were in the 60's, which made it difficult to leave.

The Food
In the past, we always leave our food options to chance. Since we've never had great luck in the D.C. area with food, this time I did a little research first. A few places we knew we'd hit, and the others we chose were by chance, but great!

Hollywood East Cafe - 25 minutes north of D.C., but easy to reach by Metro. The restaurant was rated #1 by Zagat, so when we found the location in an unassuming, slightly run-down part of town we wondered if we had the right place. We decided to take a chance, and it was worth it. The hot and sour soup met B's approval (which is impossible to do when it comes to that soup), and the egg drop soup was perfect. The main courses of sesame chicken and orange chicken were delicious, and Mai-tai's really packed a strong punch. Worth the trip, and very affordable! The best Chinese food we've had since we left Minnesota.

Ella's Wood Fired Pizza - When our Saturday plans were not working out, we headed to the Gallery Place/Chinatown area for lunch. We avoided Chinatown, since we had Chinese the night before and because we've tried our luck there before with no success. We came across a chic restaurant and decided this would be the place. The decor was hip and soothing, and the food was decent. Brad had a pasta special, I tried one of their pizzas. Good stuff, though the wait staff was a bit stiff and lacking personality.

San Antonio Bar & Grill - Saturday evening we headed to Alexandria. We were surprised to find the city quite dead, except for a very small corner of the city with a large movie theater and several chain restaurants. Wanting to avoid food we could otherwise get in Ohio, we tried this place. It was good, solid, Mexican food. I can say that when I lived in Austin, TX for two years, this is what Mexican food was. Very unassuming, but the wait staff was friendly and the food came out quick and fresh. Bueno!

The Capital Grille - We decided to hold our anniversary celebration here, and it was a fantastic choice! The ambiance was amazing, and it was right down the street from the Capital building. Definitely a place that high-powered types likely visit on a regular basis. Everything, from the wine, main course, to dessert was amazing. One of the best meals I've had - and also one of the most expensive! The staff moved like clockwork, seamlessly providing quality service; yet they were talkative and friendly. We will definitely be back.

Not worth mentioning, but will throw it out for a warning - Sunday we had lunch on the Mount Vernon grounds at the food court. Typical cafeteria-style fare. We really should have hit something on the way there. On Monday we at The Coffee Mill in Harper's Ferry, WV. The food was a step below fast food, but what made it almost unbearable was the lack of cleanliness. There was only one indoor table available, and it appeared to not have been cleaned for at least five years. The amount of crumbs, grease, and a whole bunch of questionable stuff made my appetite go away.

The Sites
D.C. is all about the sites and the history. B and I have been there many times before, so this time we attempted to do some things that we had not seen before, or at least not done recently.

By the time we arrived Friday late afternoon, we checked into our hotel in Reston, VA and then made our way to the nearest Metro station. After an hour ride we ended up at Hollywood Cafe. After our meal there we took the Metro to the Smithsonian station, where we took a cold, windy walk to the Washington Monument. We were wanting to go up into the Monument at night, but as it turns out they only do the trips from 9-5 now. Disappointed and without a camera, we still made our way from the Washington Monument to the World War II memorial, where we had a great view of the Lincoln Memorial. We had been to these places before, and it was freezing with the strong wind, so we made our way back to the Metro and called it a night. It was 11:30pm by the time we got back.

The thought was to hit the Smithsonian Museum of American History, Mount Vernon and the Jefferson Memorial during our trip. Those were the three "must dos." We saved Saturday for the History Museum, so you can imagine our complete disappointment when we learned it was closed until Summer for "renovations." What would we do now? We walked to the Washington Monument again, but of course tickets were sold out for the day. We were not about to get there at 7:30am to get them, so that was out. We got some good pictures of the Mall, the Monument and the White House. It had been a long time since I had seen the front of the White House, so we decided to walk that direction. To my surprise there were not many people there. B even got a shot of the whole house with not a single person in the photo.

We were at a loss as to what to do, so we walked to McPherson Square. We passed St. John's Episcopal Church, where Pew 54 is reserved for the sitting President (every President since James Madison, who chose the location). At McPherson Square, we realized where D.C. had moved the homeless - right there, under the roof of the McPherson Square Metro stop. It was a really sad sight to see all of the people crowded under the protective roof. There were easily 40-50 sleeping bags, most of them occupied with people. We hopped on the Metro and went to Gallery Place/Chinatown. After lunch at Ella's, we decided to head to Ford's Theatre. I go there every trip, but I just love that place. We were only two blocks away, and after listening to the audio CD's it would be interested to be back in that place again. On the way there we came across Cowgirl Creamery. It seemed so unique that we stopped in, and came out with a few cheeses. They had a wide variety of rare cheeses; you could sample any one of them. We only had a few, but only because we were still full from lunch. They only have locations in D.C. and San Francisco, but you can purchase their items on their web site as well. We're hooked!

So we continue our way to Ford's Theatre, only to find a "Closed" sign. Yes, it too was also closed for renovation. The theatre and even the museum were closed until Winter of 2009. I was heartbroken. We decided to go across the street to the house where Lincoln was carried to after he was shot, and where he died at 7:22:10am on April 15, 1865. There's not much to see in the house - the parlor, where Mary Lincoln spent most of the evening, and the "death chamber" (that's how historians refer to it), where Lincoln passed away surrounded by doctors and key advisers. We were out within 10 minutes, then it was back to wandering the streets trying to find something to do.

We came across the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden, so we decided to go check that out. By this time the pain was really getting to me, and the art and sculptures were not as inspiring as we were hoping for. So we hit the road again, walking to the Capital building grounds, then to Union Station. We sat in a cafe for awhile, planning our next move. Physically I was done for the day, so we decided to take the Metro back to the car and hit Alexandria. As I mentioned earlier, the town was pretty dead, so we just had dinner and called it a day.

Sunday we dedicated our day to Mount Vernon, which was fun. Since it was a Sunday, and since I really wanted to hit the Jefferson Memorial, we drove into D.C. for the evening. After dinner we drove to the Memorial; getting a little lost along the way, but eventually finding the spot. It was a great location - the memorial was beautiful, and the views were amazing of downtown D.C. Since it was dark, it was very difficult to take photos but we managed to get a few good ones to remember our time there.

On Monday we headed home, but took a detour to Harper's Ferry, WV. This is actually an area full of rich history, from Washington/Jefferson times, John Brown's failed raid, and many Civil War battles/pass-throughs. When you were there you felt like you were going back in time, yet it was fairly deserted. Most stores were closed, except for a few shops and "restaurants." We spent a few hours there touring the sites and the land, before we made our way back home to Ohio.

Summary
The trip itself was a great time. I enjoyed every second I had with B, and hated to leave. Luckily it's a fairly quick trip (6 hours) to D.C., so I know we'll be back again. Who knows, maybe we'll end up living there some day?

I did upload some of our better photos to Picasa, my new favorite site. You'll see two slide shows here on my blog page, or you can go here.

Primary Day in Ohio

B and I had a wonderful time in D.C., and I will definitely be blogging later this week about our trip. However, today is Primary day in Ohio. So many states before us have come and gone, and now it's our turn. Though I predicted awhile back that by the time Ohioans got around to voting the nominees for each party would be decided, I was wrong. Instead we find ourselves in the spotlight once again, with the potential to change the course of the political landscape, especially for the Democrats.

Ohio, at least since we've been here, always seems to be a state where the votes, once tallied, change direction or make a final decision on a national level. There's a lot of emphasis here, especially since Ohio has one of the worst economies in the country. Especially northeast Ohio, where I live. Once a thriving industrial town, jobs are gone and the people have left in droves. Huge parts around the city of Cleveland are deserted. There are few opportunities here unless you know the right people. Most of the Cleveland/Akron area is overcome by a strong blue collar mentality. There are a lot of good people here who work hard, but do little to change the situation this part of the state has gotten themselves into. There are a lot of things going for this area - Lake Erie, decent weather (at least for the Midwest), beautiful landscapes and really a good location. It's a shame most people spend their time complaining about the situation but doing nothing to change it. They keep electing the same worthless officials, and take no steps to become active in the community and make a difference.

So when the national politicians come here and talk about what they can do for Ohio, people listen. They still trust politicians here. And remember, they want change but keep looking to the same people for it, even if they are corrupt and worthless. It's a different mentality, so the votes reflect that.

I waited until after work to vote. The polls didn't open soon enough in the morning for me to make it to work on time. I debated in my head all day how I was going to cast my vote. At this point there is a bit of strategy; the November election is where you vote for who you want. In the primary, sometimes you vote for person #2 just so person #1 doesn't get the nomination. It was silly, really, because Ohioans and their mindset greatly outnumber me. So I got in the car around 5:30, spent over 90 minutes getting to the polling place in the rain and ice, and I made my vote. I got in right away, but saw from the lists that the turnout for the day appeared to be pretty strong. I had to make the decision. I made my choice for the candidate. I walked away respecting my decision, and eager to see who the rest of the state chose. My guess is that I was probably not in the majority this evening, but maybe Ohioans will surprise me.

Procrastinating

I'm procrastinating today. I've spent time writing people back I needed to and updating a few things on the blog, but it's still procrastinating. I should be doing work, but I'm just not feeling it.

It's just a tough time for everyone right now. I'll be glad when I'm on vacation with B in D.C. - it will help take my mind off things.

Politics

I've been avoiding and trying to ignore the political scene, but with the Ohio primary next week I'm being attacked on all fronts. TV and radio ads, articles, phone calls, mailers...you just can't avoid it. I was thinking back in January that by the time March 4 came around the contests would be decided. Boy, was I wrong!

I used to be fascinated with politics, but anymore it's so corrupt. I don't like any of the candidates. I like parts of some of them. Obama is a wonderful and brilliant orator. McCain speaks his mind. Romney had nice hair. Edwards did too. (Ok, I kid about the hair stuff!) But who do I want to be President? None of them. Which means once again I'm going to the polls to vote for the person who I dislike the least and who will screw up the country the least.

I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Sure, there are a lot of people energized by who's in the running, but I'm not one of them. I'm of the belief that the ones who would best be suited for President would never run, because let's face it - the whole process is one big nightmare at this point. Only people with huge ego's would ever be willing to put themselves and their families through this game. It's not about who will do the best job for the people and the country - it's about who can play the game of politics the best.

All I have to say is thank goodness for TIVO and it's fast-forwarding capabilities!

Trip Prep

B and I decided to go to D.C. for a four-day weekend to celebrate our 6th anniversary on March 2. We always have a great time in D.C., and it will be the first time we'll be there and not spend any of it with family. (Which don't get me wrong, it's always a fun time with B's family!) Will probably spend most of it in the heart of D.C., and maybe take a day trip to Mt. Vernon (which B hasn't seen) or Monticello. We're both looking forward to getting away and having a great time.

The one thing I'm doing this time around is trying to get a feel for good places to eat. We always end up with limited choices due to high wait times, or just choose badly. We're not talking pricey stuff every night, just good, decent food that we can't get in Ohio. None of that chain stuff, but not something that's going to put us in the hospital, either. So far I found a really good, cheap chinese restaurant that's rated the best in D.C. by almost everyone in that town, plus a really nice place near the capital for Sunday evening.

D.C. with the husband. Could it get any better?

Results...And More Waiting

Thursday night I came home and there was a message on our answering machine from my new PCP, stating she had the results of my blood work and asked that I call her back on Friday. I played the message twice, verifying it was the doc calling and not some assistant. It was the doc. It's one thing if the assistant calls - that likely means that everything is ok. To have the doc call - that means they found something. The stupid Cleveland Clinic MyChart was down so I couldn't see my test results online, so I spent the night nervously wondering what showed up.

Friday morning I went into work at my usual early time. Put in a couple of hours and then it was time to call. I got an assistant, who pulled up my record and then oddly told me to please hold. My doc was then on the line with the news. My ANA levels were high. ANA stands for antinuclear antibodies. These ANAs work against your autoimmune system and basically "attack" your body. The average ratio is 1:40...mine was 1:640. The doc was concerned about the high number and suggested that I get in to see a rheumatologist as soon as possible. Though the PCP has limited knowledge in this area, the high ANA count likely means I have some sort of connective tissue disease. The most known of this type of disease in this category is lupus, which I definitely do not have. However, there are a few others types that sound like they may be a fit. Usually this type of disease is genetic, but in my case there is no history on either side of the family.

It's tough to get medical news at work, and in the morning, because you're really helpless. I had no idea what this type of disease was, the symptoms, treatment or if there was a cure. I had about 20 minutes at lunch where I did a few searches, with little information. I also signed online to see my test results, and found out that another ANA level was also high (scored a 7.7 rating when the standard was 1.1 or lower), and my platelet count is low (110,000, when the minimum should be 150,000). This all ties in with that connective tissue disease.

After a nice dinner with B, I started to do some research. What I found is:
1. There is no way I can diagnose myself because this stuff is just too complex. I have to wait for the doc to do their thing.
2. There is no cure, only medications to help people live decent lives
3. The disease causes damage to the organs, typically making it necessary to take medications to try and prevent heart, lung and kidney damage. In the end the disease usually does enough damage to the heart or lungs that it is generally the cause of death. I'm not saying people die in their 30's, but they won't live to see 90. It sounds like even 70 would be a stretch.

There is another factor in all of this. Sometimes high ANA rates can be caused by a reaction to a chemical in the body. I have metal and silicon in my low back from two surgeries - is this a cause? I was fine until after my first surgery. I first started noticing the odd pain (outside of the pain caused by the vertebrae fractures) 6-7 months after the surgery. It then progressively got worse, to the point where I'm at now. Is it just coincidence, since this type of disease usually occurs in women in their 20s/30s...or is my body having a difficult time with one of the implant components?

So basically I have results, but yet I don't. Still a lot in the air, and a lot left to determine. I was not expecting the blood tests to find anything at all - I really thought it was nerve-related. I find myself thinking of the pain differently; I'm almost more aware of it now that I know it's cells in my body causing this, and not just nerve damage.

I think what struck me the most was a description I read about the disease last night - that it's basically the body attacking itself. It's an interesting statement, because I've often said to B that I feel like my body is attacking itself. It appears my perception might have been pretty darn accurate!

In the meantime, it's just too much to think about. So, I'm just going to continue with life. Family, work, home, play...just continue on. March 13 will be here before I know it, and I'll deal with whatever happens when it happens. No need to speculate or guess. I'm leaving it up to the professionals for now.

Catching Up

Since I started my new job I've been very bad about my blog. For shame! Anyway, I'm ready to get back into it now that things have settled down. So what's new...

Work
The new job is great. There are days where I want to pull every strand of hair out in frustration, but it's really all good. It's challenging and there is a LOT of room for improvement. Once I'm done with year end stuff (which is close to being done), I can really start focusing on making some changes. I like the people and the management team, and I'm proud to be a part of it and happy I'm back. I still keep in touch with a few of my old co-workers, and of course the horror stories continue. It makes me even more grateful to be out of there.

Home
The last month we've made a lot of little improvements around the house. The biggest one was that B and my folks put up crown molding on the first floor. It looks AWESOME! While they were doing that big project I was continuing my painting in the bathrooms. Our downstairs one is completely finished and turned out great; our master bath is still a work in progress. I think B took some pictures so I'll need to get them and will post a few soon. We also got a new tv stand and a corner shelf for our living room...the house has definitely been upgraded a bit!

Family
All is good. Spent a lot of time with my Grandma B. and her husband over the holidays, and it was actually a pretty positive experience. My Dad's 60th was great and the video was near perfect. I've haven't seen my dad smile that much in a very long time. He usually mopes around on his birthday, but this year was different. He was in a great mood, and I think between the video, homemade cake (and intricate decorating), family dinner at Hyde Park and gift of new pool cues, it was a perfect day. I was glad to be a part of it.

Health
Still more bad days than ok days. I went to a new PCP on Friday, who thinks I may have some sort of neuropathy or possibly fibromyalgia. Given the research I've done, I agree with her. I like the new doc, and she appears to want to find out what's wrong. I have an appointment with a neurologist on April 30, but until then I'll continue with my standard meds in addition to a new one that will hopefully help me sleep.

Misc.
Between work, home and health, I've been pretty swamped. B and I went to Pittsburgh for a weekend getaway for his birthday, which was fun. It's a nice town, but you couldn't pay me to live there. With our 6th anniversary coming up the first weekend of March, we may do another getaway to celebrate; still need to decide where. I've fallen way behind on correspondence and such, so this week I'll need to take some time to catch up.

I better run, as I have to get up around 4:30 so I can get to work early. The weather people are "predicting" snow, so that could mean a lousy commute. Everyone have a good week!

I'm back

Expect a big blog this weekend. Things have FINALLY calmed down and I'm ready to blog again.

On a somber note, I just have to send prayers to the NIU students and families. I have spent a lot of time at NIU and in DeKalb throughout the course of my life, and it's really odd to see them both center stage right now - and for all the wrong reasons. It's a really great university and town, all surrounded by corn fields. I'm proud to be a Huskie fan and hope that the powers that be can prevent this from happening again.

See you all soon.

Happy 2008!

Yikes, it has been a month since my last blog. I hope the few that typically read it had a great Christmas and New Year! I apologize for my absence, but it has been and continues to be crazy. The new job is going well, but the days are definitely longer especially when you factor in the often longer-than-an-hour commute. I've had little time for relaxation, which includes any blog writing or blog reading. I'm happy the holidays are over, but I'm now furiously working on my dad's 60th birthday which is on the 12th (or six days away). My brother and I shot video footage, documentary-style, of the Ohio family sharing stories or thoughts about my dad. I'm now editing the footage, and I only have my mom left so I'm close to being done with that stage. Once I'm done with the video editing, then I'm combining the "clipped" footage with photos (that I had to scan - about 140) and various favorite songs of my dad's to create an approx. 30 minute video to present to him for his birthday. I'm also now making the birthday cake and am in charge of finding a good restaurant, so until I get through Saturday my time will continue to be limited and crazy.

I'm looking forward to catching up with my friends blogs out there, and also hope to be able to start writing in mine more often again. I must close, but I leave you with a few shots that B took on his new camera (his xmas gift from me) of my brother and I working on shooting the video at the folks house.

My Final Idiot Story

Ok, one more thing about today, and it's also my final "idiot" story.

My cube-buddy Nancy comes over to me in the afternoon and tells me that the idiot partner approached her around 10am and said he was "FUBAR" - f***ed up beyond all repair. She asked why, and he told her that he was suppose to purchase a desk or mantel clock and have it engraved as a parting gift for me...but he forgot to do it.

With the luncheon two hours away, he asked if she could go to the grocery store and pick up a gift certificate for a restaurant or something. Hence the Carrabba's gift certificate I received.

Now I'm not saying that the idiot didn't value me enough to remember to purchase the gift. I'm just saying he's an idiot.

And that is my final idiot story. At least one related to this company.

The Last Day

One of my main purposes of this blog is to keep an electronic diary for myself of important things that I want to remember. So, the following is to accomplish that goal.

Today was a good day. Actually, since the day I announced I was leaving it's been pretty good. After people got past the shock of my announcement, everyone seemed to be really focused on making sure my last days were good ones. Yes, there were still a lot of moments to confirm that I made the right decision, but at least I wasn't dreading going into work anymore. Granted, a large part of that was knowing I was on the way out and not trapped!

Last night after work I picked up some pre-made margarita drink, some note cards and also a framed picture/illustration. You see, the former owner of the company had brought in all of the office pictures, and then took the better ones with him when he left. Though that happened in February, the nails still remain in the gray walls, as well as some of the more ugly, uninspiring photos. One agenda item I've had during my final weeks is to convince the partners to spend some money on paint and new photos, and to get the staff involved in those decisions so it's not such a dreadful place, at least visually. So, I thought the framed illustration was a nice touch; it was classy and would go with almost any decor they choose to go with in the future. I wasn't 100% sure I would give it to the office as a gift, but it was in my car if I felt the moment was warranted.

Last night I started typing out copy for the note cards - one for each of the staff. By 10pm I was drained and called it a night, then started back up around 6am after a hot shower. I wanted what I said to be perfect, so once I had it down electronically I wrote it in the card. I tried to come up with one thing for each person that was special, unique and good about them, as well as thanking them for whatever. I finished around 7am, made sure I had my office keys and building entry key card (for early/late entry) to turn in, and headed out the door.

This morning was great. The partners were in a three hour meeting, which meant the rest of us played. Sandy, one of my favorite co-workers, gave me a gift bag with several items. Not wanting to get too emotional (and knowing some of her stuff may lead me there), she just had me open one item, a little book called "Funny Business: How Climbing the Ladder of Success Works in Real Life." She had then put little sticky tabs on several pages that reminded her of people we work with - it was hilarious! I then went around and showed a few other co-workers so they could have a good laugh, which I could because the partners were still in their meeting.

I then got all most of my work done, noticing that there was a lot of activity in the background. Figuring something was up I stayed at my desk. I then realized our accountant, who was not to be in today, was in the office. Yes, something was planned. One of the partners, the one I've worked the least with, surprised me with a necklace and matching earrings from Macy's. It was tasteful and silver, which are both positives. It was really unexpected as I never felt like we connected on any level.

I was then called into the conference room, where I was surprised with a candlelight room and Italian food that was brought in. There was pasta, breaded chicken parmesan, meatballs and salad. It was so good! They sang a couple of goodbye songs to be - "So long, farewell" and "For she's a jolly good fellow". I was given a card signed by all that had Gloria Esteban singing "Conga". I guess everyone was taking turns going into the hallway, or even into the bathrooms, to sign the card so I wouldn't hear! I was also given a $50 gift card to Carrabba's from the company, which I love.

Then the "Fab Five" as I call them (my favorite five in the office) gave me a gift they bought on their own, a glass and metal faucet sculpture. They wanted it to be unique, something I could have in my new office and be a conversation starter. They also thought since I was a good idea person it would remind me to keep the ideas "flowing". Another unexpected gesture. I of course then brought in the margaritas and presented them with the framed picture. I think they were a bit surprised, so it was nice to turn the tables. They decided to replace a "Teamwork" picture from Successories in the entryway and place the new picture there instead. I felt like I had accomplished a good dead for the day and was glad I had gotten it the night before.

In the afternoon I spent time looking at the accountants photos from France where she had recently visited her daughter, and taking care of those last few details. Around 2pm the goodbyes started - first the idiot partner, who hugged me goodbye and told me "I love you." Then the accountant, then another partner. Hugs were exchanged, and those early ones were easy. The hard ones to say goodbye to were saved for last.

Around 4:30 I broke out the rest of the margaritas and those of us left - my favorite boss and the Fab Five - sat around the conference room table and shared stories. I got out the note cards and started passing them out, telling people that they didn't need to open them now, just when they wanted to. 5pm hit and people started to go home.

First was Ray, the guy who brought me in and the person I worked with the most. He and I made a great team and, when left to our own devices, did some pretty awesome work. We had a great two hour lunch the other day and really got out what needed to be said. Only a few tears there, I was keeping it together...I knew I would see him again soon.

Then Nancy left...she was the person on the other side of my cube wall, and though we had our differences I will miss her humor. Whenever "the idiot" would do something stupid, once he was out of sight one of us would drop a Kleenex over the wall as a signal to say "Did you just hear that? How stupid was that!" She had great taste in music and a love of history, and she was definitely an entertainer. She was crying, which led to a few more tears.

Bill, the person who felt most threatened by me, the person who I sometimes felt held me back out of fear of him looking bad, left next. I think our strengths and skills are so similar that it often put us in a competitive situation, but that guy is smart and really cares about that company; he's been there longer than anyone else. He was the person to impress, and I guess I managed to accomplish that. He had read his note and had tears in his eyes...a rarity. A hug, a promise to keep in touch, then he was gone.

The four of us girls left then started to pack it up for the night. Here's the funny part...my work computer screen has been going "black" at random lately. Over the weekend I couldn't even use the thing. In the morning it was giving me the blue screen of death, and then after re-starting three times it finally started. The screen gave out again, but finally started working mid-morning. So I get back to my desk, ready to shut down the computer. I have a final e-mail from a strategic partner wishing me well. I respond, delete my response, close Outlook...and the screen goes black. Yes, the computer knew. I had that thing for all but five months of my time there, and I guess it decided it won't work for anyone else but me. I sent an e-mail to Bill (who does the IT) and let him know. I know he'll find it ironic/funny as well. That was my last company e-mail.

I said goodbye to Mary, a partner, first. She was closest to my cube and furthest from the door, so it made sense. Mary is the smart one of the group, and she's a leader. The problem is that she doesn't have enough confidence so she let's the other two get their way too often, to the detriment of the company. She broke down crying and gave me a big hug, and that's when I cracked. No more tears in the eyes, I was crying now, too. We're getting together for drinks downtown in two weeks, so we both pulled it together quickly and told each other we would see each other soon.

I grabbed my final possessions; I was happy I had brought all of my personal stuff from my desk/shelves home already, as my hands were full with the gifts. Two people were left - Sandy and Donna.

I went to Donna first, and we both broke down. She's a strong, stubborn, upfront person who speaks her mind, which often works against her. However, she always has people's best interests at heart. She has been very supportive of my decision and is truly happy for me, though I know she will miss the support I provided her. I think I was one of the few people in the office who could work productively with her, so I'm sure that will make things a little difficult. I know I'll see her again, too.

Donna and Sandy both walked me out to the parking lot. Sandy, who is the most emotional in the office, kept it together for the most part. She said she couldn't say goodbye, but that she would see me later. I told her to continue the "cube" traditions even after I was gone (including the Kleenex), and that I would miss her. Gave Donna another hug, we got in our cars and that was that. I was gone.

On the way home I spoke with my parents, and despite the sadness of saying goodbye to several people I care about, it was actually an upbeat conversation. The goodbyes are over, now it's time to move forward. And I have a busy three days ahead of me!

When I got home I opened the rest of Sandy's gifts, which included a little glass dish for trinkets and such, and a picture frame. Her card was so touching - in addition to her beautiful message, she wrote the words she thought described me:

• Good teacher
• Creative
• Caring
• Kind
• Patient
• Helpful
  
• Hardworking
• Dependable
• Loyal

In her mind, those are the things I will be known for; that is my legacy there. I know I'm far from perfect, but to see those words written down by someone whose opinion I respect, really hit me hard. I'm glad I was able to bring those things to the company and to the people who work there. I'll work hard to bring those same traits to the next place as well.

To end the day, it's fitting to say that I opened up my personal e-mail and found an e-mail from Sandy with a photo of the Fab 5. I guess Sandy had put the camera on a bookshelf, set the timer, and they took a picture to put in the frame for me to remember them by. They were the ones in the trenches with me for 3 years, 8 months and a day, and I will really miss them.

It's not a goodbye or the end...it's just a new chapter. And that begins now.

It's Here

This is my last blog from my cube; in 55 minutes I am officially unemployed, at least until Monday.

It was a good week and everyone has been super-kind. I was surprised with an Italian luncheon, complete with mood lighting (candles) and margaritas (courtesy of me).

I'll write more later, as there is one more thing I need to complete before I leave - a proposal from me to the company to design a sales database for them. You know, since I have so much spare time and all.

Most of my days here have been frustrating and upsetting, but I leave here today with only the good stuff to remember and of course the lessons learned that I want to make sure I never forget.

I'm off to drink more margaritas. A new chapter now begins....

Final Lap

I'm officially into my last week at work. Wednesday I came down with a horrible sore throat which turned into a cold. Thursday I had to fly to Lansing, MI for my last client meeting, and though the meeting was only an hour it really seemed like the longest site visit ever because I felt absolutely horrible. By Friday late afternoon I was finally home and trying to rest up so I could make it through these final few days and accomplish the big list of stuff I want to get to.

So today I woke up and immediately started getting stuff done. Sending out e-mails, writing out instruction lists and making sure anything I have here at home that belongs in the office (such as my laptop bag, extra power cord, etc.) get back to the office. I'm still not feeling great physically, but mentally it feels good to be closing this chapter of my life. I'm ready.

Also on a good note, my acupuncture on Monday actually did a lot of good. I'm still usually dealing with pain at the end of a day, but given the traveling and everything else my "during the day" pain is down significantly. Good news!

It's off to get more stuff done. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Exit Strategy - Part I

So far my exit strategy at work is going as planned. I've managed to put a lot of things together and have handed over to others within the organization. I've been a bit surprised at some reactions, especially one person in particular. She was handling the marketing before I started here, but it was then handed to me as people were not overly thrilled with her work. I think she's always resented me a bit for that, so I thought she would be very eager to take over the marketing stuff again. As it turns out, she wants to be able to do the creative pieces but when it comes to organizing or actually developing anything she has no interest. Basically she told me (and others) that she refuses to hold anyone's hand for anything, and so if deadlines are missed so be it - it's their responsibility, not hers. If she manages to get away with that attitude I guess it's good for her; I just don't agree with it. It's hard for those out in the field to project manage marketing-related activities....it's not going to happen because the skills and the organization is not there and never will be. I'm not confident they will manage to keep a strong marketing focus when I leave, and quite frankly they don't really have any other way to get their name out there.

So far I've had private lunches with two folks here - one of them a fellow co-worker who is one of the top people I will miss here; the other is the idiot boss that I will miss only for the ridiculous stories I get to tell others about him. The Idiot spent most of the lunch telling me how he wants me to come back when I'm through with this next job, as a "partner." Yeah, right. That's a line he's been feeding me for about two years now. Whatever. I would never be a partner in a company that he is also a part of, never. He has high hopes for this company but I know his goal is to find others to help build the business so he can eventually sell it for big bucks. The problem is that right now the company is hardly worth anything, and I doubt that will change. It's quite sad, actually. I was very politically correct during the whole conversation, yet made it a point to try and give him some feedback in regards to the overwhelming need to change the culture and communication methods here. I'm not sure anything sunk in, but I tried. I tried for those I leave behind who do not have the capability or guts to get out of here at this time.

The rest of this week I will spend in Lansing, MI for a project, along with continuing my "notes" for people on various activities and projects so they have them for reference when I'm gone. Next week I'm just here four days and I know that will go by quickly. I definitely have big changes ahead.

Thanksgiving Holiday

I hope everyone had an enjoyable and warm Thanksgiving holiday!

We left Ohio Thursday morning around 5am and made our way to western Iowa. In Cleveland it was pouring rain and 51 degrees. By the time we reached Indiana the temperature had dropped 20 degrees and it was starting to snow. Luckily there was only about 10 minutes of that, though it was enough to take out several SUVs who had spun off into the ditches - it was probably not the way they envisioned their Thanksgiving! Once we got past the snow it was windy, cold and dry.

By noon (Central time) we crossed the Illinois/Iowa border and hit the Quad Cities. We were hoping we'd find a restaurant open, but no luck. Since we were right on Kimberly Road we took a small detour to my Grandpa S.'s grave site. Spent a few minutes there and then got back on the road. It was not long before we found a truck stop with a restaurant, where they had an $8.99 Thanksgiving buffet. Figuring the food would be better than the junk we had in the car we decided to stop. It wasn't bad; we had ham, turkey, and lots of vegetables. We were in and out in about 45 minutes, if that.

Once we were back on the road it took us a little over two hours to hit West Des Moines, where we stopped at the Marriott and checked in for the night. We had Pricelined the room for $50, and it was a great deal. Got the car unpacked and then drove the final 45 minutes to B's mom's house, where we arrived at 4:30pm. Not bad!

B's mom was sick with a head cold but had still managed to put together a great Thanksgiving feast of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls and cranberry sauce. We had brought a bunch of stuff thinking she would only prepare the turkey, so we were surprised. In the end we only used the rolls we brought and took the rest back to Ohio with us. It was a great meal with great company. B and I did the dishes, sat around the living room and chatted a bit and then headed back to the hotel around 8pm so my mother-in-law could get some much needed rest.

Friday morning we slept in a bit and made it to the house about 10am. I immediately headed off into a spare bedroom to do an hour-long conference call with my current employer where I went through each client and marketing project I've been working on, giving them status, what needs to be done once I leave, etc. I had already put it all in writing but I know they appreciated me taking an hour of my day off to still walk them through it. At 11am I was officially done with my work and could just enjoy my day off.

For lunch we went to Atlantic, a small city of 8,000 people, which is a larger city in that area. Having lived in a town of 15,000 people for seven years of my life, it felt comfortable. We went to Hy-Vee and had a good lunch, then drove around town and ran some errands. On the way back I was driving and all of a sudden on one of the country roads I saw this beautiful bird fly down and land on the pavement. It was a bald eagle! I can't remember the last time I saw one of those; I think it was in Wisconsin during one of my drive-thrus between Chicago and Minneapolis. It was awesome!

Friday afternoon we just sat around the house and talked. B and his mom swapped story after story about various people in the area who I had no clue who they were, so after awhile it was a little hard to keep focused. We went to Happy Chef for dinner, where for the first time since I've know B he sent his meal back. I didn't blame him! Afterwards we headed to K.C. and Lisa's house; K.C. has been a friend of B's for a long time, and was the best man in our wedding. They have a 7-year old and 3-year old and just moved into a new house in town about three weeks ago. Even at 7pm the kids were wired and couldn't show us around the house and impress us with their toys fast enough! We had brought Cheryl & Co. cookies (an Ohio great) with us, which the kids loved. We had a great time sitting around and catching up, with us girls drinking wine and the boys drinking a vodka and minute maid lemonade combo. Around 10pm we called it a day and headed back to the hotel.

Saturday morning we had to be at my mother-in-law's early as she had an 8am hair appointment. For a small town, this place was really cool. I told B next time we're there I'll probably get my hair cut/styled. They had some great products, and though a little pricey I got a few new things to take back with me. Around 11am we decided it was probably time to head over to eastern Iowa to visit my side of the family.

We stopped at one of my aunt and uncle's house, about 15 minutes from the farm. They had taken my grandma over there for the afternoon since my cousin (and her husband and 9-month old son) were in town. I had not met the 9-month old, so that was cool; he was already so big! We took grandma back to the farm around 5pm and stayed another 2 hours just catching up on things. Despite her major heart surgery in September she seemed to be in good spirits and looked quite well.

We headed to Joliet, Illinois Saturday evening where we have Pricelined a 3-star hotel for $40. Though I've never had a bad experience with a 3-star, this one was dreadful. It should have been 2-stars, max. It was an old, rundown, dirty Holiday Inn. I'm not a fan of Joliet anyway, but it definitely solidified my need to not ever stay in that city again. We were disappointed but were too tired to care. Went to sleep and took off for home at 11am Sunday morning. B drove the whole way in solid traffic, but we still made it home by 6:40pm. It was nice to be home early enough to unpack and unwind before starting the work week.

Overall it was a great trip - we covered a lot of ground by car yet still managed to have a lot of time with our families.

Turkey Time

First things first. It's my parent's 39th anniversary today, so I have to give a shout-out to them. Not many couples make it to 39 years, so that's pretty darn amazing. They are a great couple and parents, and I'm lucky to have them.

Thanksgiving is officially around the corner. Time to stuff ourselves full of turkey, vegetables, rolls and pie, along with other stuff that is unhealthy for us. I won't even talk about the stuff we have in the car to tie ourselves over for 12 hours tomorrow.

Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks, and since I will be in a car most of tomorrow I thought I would take today to list what I am thankful for:

• My wonderful husband B, who is not only a fantastic husband but my best friend in this world.
  
• A loving family - my parents, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins - that is truly supportive in everything I do, and would do anything for B and me.
• Amazing friends that I don't get to see as often as I'd like, but as time goes forward they are just as wonderful as they always were.
  
• My health. Yes, it sounds weird that I would say that given my back situation, but I'm grateful every day that I don't have something more serious and deadly. Every day I can get out of bed and have use of my legs I'm grateful.
  
• My brain. I've said it before and I'll say it again, without my brain it would have been hard to make it this far in life. I can take not-so-great physical health as long as I still have my brain.
• My life. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes on my back, and wonderful family and friends. Honestly, does it get any better?

Here's wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.